Mindfulness and Self Care as an Act of Resistance

Brett Hill: 00:00:00

Foreign Hi, this is Brett Hill, the mindful coach, and I have something important to talk about today that's been on my mind quite a bit lately with the incoming presidency and all the. All the chaos that's ensuing from. As a result of that, there's been a lot of stress in people's lives, unnecessary stress, unfortunately, because I.

This has been entirely optional and, you know, the decisions of this administration to, you know, stop funding of this and to blame DEI and to, you know, refocus on hateful messages about immigrants and, you know, enforce. Enforce discrimination against those who choose to be a different gender, that kind of thing.

And the things that are to come are entirely unnecessary suffering, and it's really hurtful to people in those populations. Now, I speak kind of from a pretty privileged place.

I'm an older white guy, and I live in the Pacific Northwest, which is a pretty liberal area by choice, I should say. We chose that area because of the fact that it's relatively insulated from some of the worst.

I grew up in Oklahoma, and so I know firsthand what it means to grow up in what I would call a racist culture because it was racist to the core. And I just want to be really clear about that, because there was no question about it.

I physically was beaten by groups of men because I wasn't racist enough. So I know what it means to be in a culture where you don't align with the vibe. You know, you don't align with the culture, and many of us do.

So if you're someone who does align with that and you think that the Trump administration is fabulous, sign off now, because this is not. I'm. I. And the people that I work with are not your people. Just really be really clear about that.

The kind of people that I align with are those who are working to be a healthy, intelligent, helpful, healing force on the planet.

Those who are involved with very, very energetically and at sometimes great personal sacrifice, the movement to be more loving, kind, caring, inclusive, support justice where you find it. And I do not mean in a laid back, well, everything is perfect because we're all one with the cosmos, kind of.

I got nothing against that, but I'm talking about in an energetically engaged, forceful, taking a stand and fighting for what's right. We got a lot of that to do.

And so I'm concerned about noticing in my own nervous system the continuous stream of messages around, oh, this is, you know, really bad news. Oh, my God, they're talking to this guy about that job. Are you kidding me? What?

What the the guy who's in charge of American defense promises not to drink if he gets the job. I mean, that's the level that we're at here.

And it's kind of like those very concerning, even alarming kinds of messages that we get many, many times a day. And so my point here is that we cannot live in a state of constant alarm.

You cannot sustain a state of constant outrage, even though that might be justified.

So I'm trying to say to us, to me, and to us, because I know that my experience is just kind of a placeholder experience for thousands of other people, because I'm a human being and I have a nervous system. And my nervous system has biomechanics built into it, just like everybody else's nervous system. So I'm not unique in that sense.

When I hear something that's disturbing, you can't just walk away from it and go, oh, yeah, that didn't happen. If you do that, you gloss over the impact. Impact, you'll pay a price for it later because it's in your system and it has to be integrated.

And so I'm talking about the characteristics of our nervous systems and how we as mindful folk in the world who want to do good, who believe in connection, who want to have a culture where we have each other's backs instead of be at each other's throats. That's the kind of world that I want to live in, and I want to support the people who want to make that kind of world.

And that's the reason I'm a coach. That's the reason I run the Mind. Mindful Coach association, where coaches can come and we get support in each other's.

And I have the Mindful Coach podcast and I interview those coaches to get the word out about all the great good that's going on in the world. We are not alone. You are not alone. There's a lot of amazing, incredible work.

All of that kind of is out of touch whenever we're living in a state of constant outrage.

And so I want to just simply say that in these crazy times, it's more important than ever that you look after your self care, that you look after the things that make you feel good about your life, regardless of the trauma in the world.

I don't mean to say regardless as in ignore it, but I want to say there is always a lot of suffering on the planet and there has always been a lot of suffering on the planet.

So this, the fact that it's happening here in our domain, in our country more so than it has in the past, doesn't mean it's new to the human experience. On the contrary, this kind of thing has actually been happening for centuries.

These leaders who are kind of cruel and kind of clumsily cruel, have had gigantic impacts on the human race. There have been huge, huge damage done by these, you know, self centered people who are not interested in the greater good. This is not new.

And I'm not saying that that doesn't make it any less real or important. I'm just saying that take a step back a little bit and go in the arc of human history. This is pretty common experience. It's just new for us, right?

And so we can learn a lot from what others have learned. One of the things that I'm going to name is that this is an arc that will end at some point.

We are just getting started here and I'm sorry to say I think this is going to get significantly worse before it gets better.

And so what do you do whenever you know that something is bad is coming your way and it's going to require some moxie, some strength from you to persevere through in a way where it just doesn't crush you? What do you do? I mean, one thing you have to make a decision is, you know, am I going to just fold? And God bless you if that's you.

I sometimes think of these disaster movies where the people are on the beach, you know, when they're looking out over the beach and a tsunami is coming their way. Like maybe a comet hit the earth or there was an earthquake. You've seen these, you know, they're standing there and like, oh look, giant tsunami.

It's going to wipe me away and everybody else around me. And there's not a thing that you can do. You simply are present in that moment for this giant calamitous event.

What does a rational person do in the face of calamity, impending calamity? Well, that's a really key question, I think, right?

So here we are, mindful folk who care about inclusion, diversity, caring for another, empathy, supporting each other, who care about reducing the amount of suffering in the world, who care about helping those who need help, who care about elevating our own success and making ourselves have a world that we wish to thrive in, that our children can grow up in and be healthy and happy in, who care about the planet, want it to be, help us align with the forces that created us. I mean, I get a kick out of it and sometimes it's, it's Kind of a tragic joke. You know, we are. We are in many ways, humanity is a creation of Earth.

You know, we were born from the elements and given rise to the capacity to live and breathe and walk and think. Due to the just peculiar mix of this particular point in time.

That this particular planet, in this particular space just happens to be the right temperature, just happens to have oxygen and water and the atmosphere is just the right thing to give rise to this particular expression which just happened to develop consciousness.

So many variables have given rise to the fact that we're even having that you are listening to this right now and can understand the words that I'm speaking. There's so many things that are exceptionally improbable about that ever occurring. It's mind boggling.

And when you take a moment, regardless of the tragedy that's going on around us, and you look up into the sky and you reflect on the beauty of a billion years of creation, the magnificence of the very fact that we are here taking a breath and the opportunity to feel present in this magnificence. And you let that experience inform your senses as deeply as possible. And you walk through the world connected to that.

You become something of a immovable force in a way, I want to say, like an undeniable force. Because you're connected to something that's bigger than you, that's bigger than the calamity that is upon us.

When you connect to your compassionate, caring for living creatures that was here before you and it will be here after you. You're just participating in that song which never ends.

And you get a moment of time to show up as incarnated as you, so to speak, to sing that song in your special way. And that's my wish for you, is that you find that special way to sing that song. Because it is needed now more than ever. Pause.

That's why it's important that you take care of yourself now more than ever. Take a breath. Connect to the great goodness and beauty of this moment and of that which is in the world.

Because there is an unlimited amount of suffering on the planet. There always has been. And if you tune into that and you imagine trying to bear the intensity of the suffering everywhere on the planet, you can't.

You couldn't possibly, right? It's hard enough to bear it. The individual suffering of an. Of my own experience. Fortunately, I'm a privileged person.

You know, I'm a white older guy and I live in a very privileged world. There are plenty who are not. And I'm. And I can't live in that skin, but I can live in mine. And I can extend my heart and support and be.

Do the best that I can to commit my life to reducing suffering in the world. And that's what it's about for me. So here's the. Here's the thing. Take care of yourself. Connect to the beauty in the world.

So I didn't quite finish that thought. There's an unlimited amount of suffering in the world, but there is also an unlimited amount of beauty and love, right? If there's.

And if that's true, if love is an unlimited resource, how much of it do you allow? Many people think of love as something that we give or we receive from something. I don't think of it that way. I think of as the water we swim in.

And it's just a matter of, am I aware of this? Right? I do. Am I aware of the very force that animates my life?

And I consider, as far as I'm concerned, in my heart of hearts, I believe the entire universe is fabricated from whatever quantum element is that we experience directly as love, peace, beauty, awe, justice, you know, truth, whatever that is, that's what makes us manifest. And when I connect to that, I connect to what I call my being.

And when I look at the sky, look at the moon, I look at the face of a beautiful child or a dog at play, or a piece of wheat waving in the wind, or a beautiful flower, I connect to that beauty and it connects to this deeper part of me. And I remember, ah, yeah, this is who I am. This is what I am. And the I just kind of goes away. It just is like my experience is yes.

And I give myself that yesness. Yes, I connect to that awe, that wonder of now. And then when I take that somatic experience and I carry it forward to my next conversation.

And if I'm really in this and I'm talking to somebody, even if they're a crazy person who's like, you know, doing damage in the world, I see a wounded person and I have compassion for their wound.

That does not mean I am going to stand for their action or tolerate it, but it does mean I'm not going to incriminate them for adopting a belief that was kind of put on them. They don't necessarily choose these things. This is a whole other discussion about choosing who you are.

Because unless there's someone home, you don't really have a choice. You're just kind of adoption what works for you. And that's going to vary by Neurology and culture and you know, the sociology of your group.

So I'm saying all this to say to you, remember who you are in a deep way. And if you don't know, do that work. Inquire. Ask yourself, who was I before the world told me who I should be? What was I like when I was 3 or 4?

Before the world told you, oh, you're not.

You're too loud or you're too soft, or you don't speak up enough, or you'll never be enough, or you're just right, or you're perfect or you're smart, whatever the world told you, who were you before all of that? Before you adopted kind of an identity. And we all do in a certain way.

You don't have a choice because as a child, you're looking for clues outside of you. What am I like? You learn interactively. You learn by feedback. That's why the people that you're around matter a lot.

And so I'm going to ask you to pay attention to your own neurology and to disconnect from the stream of continuous outrages that are coming our way. And I mean, I don't mean ignore, but I mean, don't expose yourself to a hundred scary messages a day.

Maybe, you know, one time a day, catch up on headlines. I'd rather have one body blow, so to speak, than a hundred punches, you know, that I have to deal with all day long.

I can take a breath, find myself, and yeah, be outraged because it is outrageous from this place. Then you connect. You let yourself have your feelings. You feel yours. Yeah. Oh, my God, this is. This is bad. I don't know what to do. It's true. I don't.

I feel helpless. Yes, it's true. I'm concerned about this group, that person, this law, this. What does it mean, all of those questions. Oh, there's that.

I want to make meaning out of it. Yes, I do. I do want to make meaning out of it. Noticing that, yeah, that's true and real, then connecting, remembering who you are. Right.

I, Brett Hill, I can't speak for you, but I myself, I'm a. But I. I like to connect. This part of me, I feel like I'm a clarifying force.

I want to be a voice that helps to clarify and help every single situation I come into. And that doesn't mean I have to be a teacher all the time, but it does mean I do offer my insights when they are helpful.

And I'm perfectly fine with sitting back and not knowing. Oh, Well, I need to learn. I need to shut up and just listen for a while. Often that's. That's the way forward. But what is true for you?

What kind of a force are you? What kind of a. What's your mission, if you will, and if you don't know, that's fine. If you can't name it. I've had a long time to sort this out.

I put myself on purpose into very, very challenging situations so I could find out. So I know from deep personal experience, hard work, how I show up and what comes out of me under extreme moments.

And I'm trying to present some things that have been very helpful for me in these moments.

Because here's the thing, people who've known my work have heard me say before, if you want to be mindful under stress, you have to practice when you're not. If you want to be mindful under stress, calm in a centered place, you have to practice when you're not.

And so it's very important in these times, whenever you are not particularly feeling stressed, to practice presence. Because we are going to feel it a lot, right? It is upon us. Things you can do. Obviously, meditation is huge, huge thing.

Movement, learning to move consciously, anything you can do to get your body moving, the energy is helpful, at least for me. Remember to connect on purpose, intentionally, in the moment to the things that nourish you. Pick up a cup of coffee. I love. I'm a coffee guy.

It's warm. The smell, the senses, the texture of the cup, the taste of the coffee.

Letting yourself have these somatic experiences and letting those things inform you in a way as simple as that, right? Can be a moment that can be very helpful in these challenging times. I'm reminded of a beautiful insight by Jim Carrey, of all people.

You know, he's turned into quite the mystic these days. And one of the things he said was recently is, you know, he got very wealthy and famous and found it to be a fairly empty thing.

And so that's interesting, right? Somebody who got to the 1% of fame, fortune, had every opportunity a person could want and felt like, this is just. There's nothing here.

It's like Solomon from the Bible, right? Vanity, vanity, all is vanity.

And when he turned inside, he began to connect to what isn't vanity, which are the things we've been talking about, the core of you, the things that give rise to your very being. Those are the things that cannot be mitigated.

Those are the things that cannot be taken away from you because they are longer they live longer than you. They were here before you, they'll be here after you.

When I look at the majesty of a mountain and I feel the presence of this manifestation that's been there for centuries and centuries, for millennia, and it's just so still. And I think about the many, many, many days that this. I want to say being, but I don't have any knowledge that there's a being.

But it feels like that to me, has this present. I feel presence there and stillness that is so deep.

And when I connect with that, there's something in me that feels like a mountain, like the essence of a mountain. And I know that's not Brett. It's something bigger than my personal manifestation, something that manifests in me.

There's a commonality there because I'm made of the same material of that mountain is made of the same as in Joni Mitchell sign song. You know, we are million year old carbon and we've got to get ourselves back to the garden, right?

We're made of the same stuff or connected in a deep, deep, deep way. So what he said was he connected to this? And he really got connected to what being? And he's. And he was.

He said, I have nothing that feels like depression. I have nothing in me that feels like depression. He said, I get angry, I have feelings, I have moods, but it's all weather, man. And he smiles.

It's all weather, man, that crazy smile he has. And I just so appreciated this like the transient experience of the moment in some way. It's like.

Of feelings, like whatever you're feeling, whether it's happy, sad, angry, upset, outrage, the transience of that, it will shift. It's just weather. The being that's having that weather experience is something bigger than that.

And so we're being called on to manifest this connection to something bigger than the weather. And so in a certain way, this experience of this new administration and disassembling of our institutions is weather.

That does not mean it is trivial. Weather can be fatal. Weather can cause giant amounts of damage and injury. That, that, you know, it can kill you.

I grew up, like I said, I grew up in Oklahoma and the weather can kill you. A tornado can come and like whack you out of the sky. Lightning kills people there as well.

It's like crazy because if you don't have an experience of these intense weather geographies, then you just don't know. Like, I live in Seattle right now with the Seattle area and the weather here is like, you know, hey, it's 56 versus 43. It's like, oh my God.

It's really. It's a very narrow band of weather compared to what it is in other places on the planet, in the Southwest particular or the Midwest in particular.

So when I say it's just weather, that does not mean that it's trivial, but it does mean that it's temporary. There are going to be impacts, people are going to suffer.

And I my heart, I'm hopeful that that's not anybody listening to this any more than is necessary. And if it is, then blessings to you. Remember who you are. Connect to your mission in the world.

Connect to that which animates the very being of, of us. And there are tools, skills and techniques you can use in, I call it mindful triage sort of things.

I'm just going to name a few that you can work on to help yourself. One is, of course, what I call the power of breath. And you know, many people call it that. It's like, remember that breathing.

Take a deep, centering breath and just a few seconds, center.

Inhale, and you think the word center and whatever that means to you, whether it be a physical center or emotional center or maybe heart, like heart or peace, peace. And you just invoke that. It's an invocation, a summoning of a particular somatic experience. I'm stressed out.

I've heard something that is very disturbing. I'm going to chill. I'm not going to say it's not important.

I'm going to take an action that matters, but I'm going to do so from a place that is connected to the very essence of the mountain and the oceans and not a reactive, flailing, unconnected place. Because I want what I do to be effective. I want what I do to have some authority in the world. And I don't mean institutional authority.

I mean have some power.

If you're going to invest your time in taking some action to help support reducing the amount of harm and uplift those who are harmed, then of course you want to be helpful.

I sometimes use the analogy of like working in an emergency room, you're working in an er, and it's just problem after problem after problem coming your way, one right after the other. And they all matter and they're all critical. How do you show up? You can't do that 24, 7. You have to take a break.

You have to connect to what you know how to do. And in a certain way. You have to not get enmeshed in each patient's problems. Because if you do, you will not survive the emotional turbulence.

That does not mean you don't feel personally, just means you don't get enmeshed, right? So that you can't separate yourself from that in a certain way.

You know, at another level, you can't really separate yourself from that, because we are all of that. We are each other in a very profound way.

But I need to be able to be resourceful and resilient for this client, for this patient, and for this patient, and for this patient.

And that means that if after doing my best with those people, I've got to go and take a break, chill, relax, let myself feel the impact of dealing with these injured souls as best I can. Take a breath, center, relax. Connect to your ocean, connect to your mountainous. Connect to your compassionate self, your whole self, as best you can.

And if you can't get to those places, God bless you. You know, find some support, create some time. Do the best that you can. We're here to help each other. We're here to support each other.

I hope I'm here to. To do that. And that's why I'm putting this out there today on the. On the podcast.

It's a pretty out there thing to do, really, for this particular show, but this is where my heart is. And I feel like it's time for those of us who do this work.

And then when I say this work, I mean the work of helping ourselves and the world be a more healthy, integrated, wholesome, alive, supportive, safe place where we can thrive. That's the work. It's time to take a stand and not tolerate those whose actions are intended to harm others.

I'm not tolerant of those kinds of behaviors. I'm not.

I might look at those people and go, okay, I understand you've come to think that this is the best thing to do, and you have your own reasons for that. But I will not stand for those actions unopposed. I'm not going to say you're evil. I'm going to say your actions are harmful.

Because I believe in my heart that there is a core of goodness in everyone. There are some people who are. Have neurological systems that are not wired the same as the rest of us. And those people can be dangerous.

In the world in particular, you know, sociopaths, psychopaths to some degree, you know, narcissists, megalomanias. We're dealing with some of those characters, and it's not their fault they were born the way they are.

It's not their fault they were born in the culture that they were born with. It's not the fault that they grew up in the world that they were brought into. Just like I'm no fault for being, you know, who I am. And neither is.

It is someone who's born and they feel like they're in the wrong body and they got. And they take an action to, like, correct that misalignment.

So I'm not saying there's no fault, no harm in this case, there is harm from those who take actions because of their beliefs that are born from the circumstances that they were brought up in. Nevertheless, we have to deal with how do we protect ourselves? How do we create culture that we want to be in?

How do we create a world we want to be in?

And this whole episode has been about, I wish for you to take care of yourself, to connect to beauty, peace, grace, the truth of you, now more than ever, spend time being present with your experience and touch that part of you which is untouched by the world.

That might sound strange, but if you listen to the mystics, and I am a mystic, then you know that this part, and Eckhart Tolle comes into mind, he talks about this all the time. This, you know, this core part that isn't dependent on the transient circumstances of our lives. The sun is not influenced by the weather, right?

The sun radiates its own light no matter what, because it is the sun. It is a manifesting force and that's what it will do there. And consequently, I feel like when I connect to what I call being, there's a.

It's a force that animates itself into these, into conscious, and consciousness emerges from that. And it's not dependent on what goes on around us. Just like Jim Carrey said, it's all weather. So blessings to you.

And I hope in some ways this has resonated with you. Remember to connect to who you are. Use this centering, breath, skill, adapt, adoption, a meditation practice, a mindfulness practice.

Find the things that light you up and on purpose, connect to them many times a day. Simple, everyday things, really powerful. This is a whole. Another course, a whole other teaching you've heard me talk about before.

Connecting with your limbic system in a way where we can help keep ourselves out of a state of alarm all the time. We cannot live in a state of outrage continuously.

The work we have to do, and I'm going to be really strong about this, the work you have to do, the work I have to do matters now more than maybe ever in American history. We need you. The world needs you. There's more of you if I can help you on that mission, somehow reach out. So blessings to you.

This is Brett, the Mindful Coach. I do have some, you know, offerings@the mindfulcoach.com I'm not going to go on about that now.

Just go out and look at it and I'm hopeful this has been helpful in some way. Take care. Bye. The Mindful Coach podcast is a service of the Mindful Coach Association.